So, here I sit at Ipe Tombe Lodge in Midrand by the pool in the beautiful South African sun. I left Lydenrust farm this morning. It was truly the most heartbreaking thing I have had to do. It truly was, and I reckon that going to the airport and finally realising I am going home is going to hit me again. i have been crying since yesterday morning. Saying goodbye to the kids was awful, we have a new teaching assistant called Nurse and she can speak both English and Zulu. She explained to the kids that teacher Rosie was going home. Jane asked who was going to teach them now, Liefa asked when we were coming back, and Thando just said she was coming with me. It honestly broke my heart, and I had to walk out of class about three times to go and cry silently behind the wall. I didnt want them to see me so sad, or to make them more sad in turn. And as Debbie said, they build up an image of us teachers being such strong inspirational people that it is important to maintain that, and to be strong for them most importantly. So yes, yesterday was very hard.
This morning I woke up at 5am and started crying around 5:30am. Pauly, the dog who moved in from a neighboring farm and who has been my constant shadow for the past month just KNEW something was wrong. He followed me from room to room and sat on my lap licking my face as I cried. Leaving him behind in my room was honestly heartbreaking. It tore me up inside. I left him my jacket because it smelt of me. It was just so hard. I cant even write about it now without welling up. He was such a good dog, and I really loved him. Then at 6:30am it was already time to set off for town to catch the taxi. I cried more saying goodbye to Ali. I cant believe I even left, I cant believe it even now. It just feels like I am going on holiday and I will be back on the farm within a couple of weeks. This is honestly the most bizarre feeling ever. Also, seeing all the beautiful messages on facebook from everyone giving well wishes, and telling me that I made a difference had me crying again.
I feel like I made a life for myself here and now I have to go. Leaving Ali and the farm was honestly one of the worst things I have had to do....
So, here I sit, the day before my flight tomorrow and I dont know what to do with myself. Teacher Rosie has lost her flock .....and her dog. At times like these, it is easy to become so sad, but I want to take everything I have learnt here and transplant it to my life in England. The Yellow Mongoose will live on, oh yes, the blog is not stopping now just because I am going home! I am going to keep it up as motivation to keep my life going with new and interesting things every single day, because hey, you cant have a blog if you are doing nothing all day! Or there is nothing to talk about! So, stay tuned for my blog extracts and for the new chapter in my life to begin back home.
And, most importantly, I will be back to South Africa. I have a new life and a new family here now. I will never forget that. Not ever.
Thank you Ali, Danie, pauly, Johnnie, Lindie, JL, Leonard, Mene, Wendy, Debbie, Donna, Dana, Edith, Uli, Lisa, Sophie, Little George, Big George, Big Marcus, Little Marcus, Simon, Salan, Lettie, Nurse, Margaret, Willem, Kasey, Francois, and every one else. i love you all!
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